When your boyfriend cheats

Anxiety can rear its head, especially if you've been in the relationship for a long time.


You may feel anxiety intensely if your housing situation has changed, or you were dependent on their income to make ends meet. You might feel anxiety for no other reason than that you're in new and uncomfortable territory on a path you did not choose. A therapist can teach your techniques for dealing with anxiety. Your boyfriend has dealt a blow to your sense of self-worth. You may wonder if you're loveable at all.

Can You Forgive Your Partner After They’ve Cheated? Here’s How, According To Experts

If his actions made you feel like you're not attractive enough, smart enough, or not good enough, you can benefit from spending some time building your self-esteem. An online counselor can help you evaluate your thoughts and understand how your boyfriend's infidelity compromised your sense of self-worth.

They may suggest that you think of your positive qualities. They might give you homework to do things that bring out the best in you and increase your self-esteem. Having good self-esteem can affect everything from your career to your family relationships.

How to repair your relationship after someone cheats

Improving it is an excellent way to move on with a more satisfying life or to stay with a new sense of independence. Anger is a natural reaction to being cheated on by your partner. You can be the most loving, caring, attractive, and exciting person in the world, but if your boyfriend has issues of his own, he may still cheat.

Allow yourself to feel your anger without telling yourself it's wrong. Feelings of anger don't always show up right away. You may feel hurt, rejected, or sad at first. You may never permit yourself to feel your anger if you learned to fear or avoid that emotion as a child.

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The best thing you can do if you have unresolved feelings of anger is to get into therapy and. Learn how to manage those feelings. It isn't helpful to deny or suppress anger, but your counselor can help you find appropriate ways to deal with it. What so often happens when we end a relationship with someone who's cheated on us is that we quickly fall into a similar relationship. Learning what contributed to the infidelity and other problems in your relationship can help you avoid having a series of boyfriends who do the same to you.

That means dealing with the issues that cause you to be attracted to these kinds of people. It also means knowing the red flags to look for when you get involved with someone new, this incident was painful enough, and you probably don't want something like this to happen to you again. A counselor can help you explore your background and issues so that you become better at choosing partners.

If your boyfriend cheated on you, something in the relationship was broken. You may decide to stay with your boyfriend and forge a new relationship. That road can be a difficult one. Both people have to participate in the healing and rebuilding process of the relationship. A therapist can help you with this process fairly and reasonably. If you don't deal with the infidelity in a way that works for both of you, the problem is bound to resurface, whether in another episode of cheating or in the gradual disintegration of your relationship.

Should you stay, or should you go? You need to make a new plan.

You need a game plan for yourself that honors your rights and who you are as an individual. The relationship will never be the same. However, if you both do the work to heal the broken bond, it could survive and maybe even get better. You may find that you aren't willing to continue it. You may instead want to spend your time and effort in building a new life on your own.

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Working with an online counselor can help you build confidence in yourself, point you in the direction of what you want in a romantic relationship, and help you achieve that goal. You can have the life you want, but to do so, you have to deal with your issues and learn how to love yourself more. This site requires anonymous cookies and third party services to function properly. This site may store and process health related data for the purposes of providing counseling and related services. To continue using BetterHelp, you must consent to our Privacy Policy. This can be anything from strategically angling their body away from you to suddenly getting very annoyed at you using their phone to check the time.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne , Ph. Again, if they've always been on social media, it's much harder to tell if anything's going on. But Dr. Whitbourne says if your boo is suddenly ultra-invested in an app, like Snapchat, that conveniently erases potential evidence, or is out-of-the-blue into storying everything and frantically checking who saw them, well. Whitbourne says.

She also notes to go in with an open mindset—they genuinely could be realizing, for the first time, how addictive Twitter is, and not necessarily cheating. But it's good to listen to your gut. They text a LOT when you're on dates together and don't provide an explanation.

10 Things to Do Immediately When You Find Out Your Partner Is Cheating

It's not that your partner is never allowed to get lost on their phone when they're at dinner with you. Bosses e-mail, and group chats drop juicy goss at the worst times—hey, it happens! But the main thing is that they apologize and tell you why you have to wait a minute. And again, if your partner used to hold your hand during coffee dates and now spends half the time on their phone, look out for that. Generally, one of the best parts of being in a relationship is you have someone you can recap all the parts of your day to—even the super-boring, not-so-great ones.

So when your partner goes from passionately venting about their day to an automated, "It was fine," that could be cause for alarm.

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It's doubly suspect if they then say nothing to you but will immediately hop on their phone and text someone else. The obvious sign is that they never initiate sex anymore or seem really detached when you do have it. Sonubi babajide Stephen [ Reply ].

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Here are some steps to help you cope and find a path forward.

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